The Right Approach

A magazine short story

While Evangeline Elphinstone-Golightly is at Droitgate Spa with her hypochondriac mother, Augustus Brattle, a thriller writer, falls heavily for her and thinks that feigning several illnesses to look weak and fragile will win her hand. After daily visits to their home he proposes but she declines.

Enter Oswald Stoker, well pickled, followed by a large dog and its new owner J. Lester Clam, the latter even more soused than Oswald. Clam's attempt to launch the house with a bottle of champagne works to Augustus's advantage ...

Characters

Mrs Elphinstone-Golightly	a Wimbledon hypochondriac
Evangeline Elphinstone-Golightly	her daughter
Augustus Brattle	a writer of mystery thrillers
Oswald Stoker	London representative of Lester Clam Inc
J. Lester Clam	head of a New York publishing firm
Staniforth	butler to the Elphinstone-Golightlys

Publishing Information

Plum Stones

First published September 1958 in Lilliput magazine.

Horizontal blue bar

Notes and Quotes

Droitgate Spa
- a mix of Droitwich and Harrogate, two real spas where invalids would go to take the 'cure'.

Paresthesia
- an abnormal sensation in the skin, e.g. numbness, tingling etc.

Gastroenteritis
- inflammation of the stomach and intestines.

Splenic anemia
- a 'non-disease' originating from a lack of knowledge of the function of the spleen and rejected by scientific medicine since the 1930s. It's still quoted by some 'alternative' therapists who haven't caught up (and patients who haven't caught on).

Consumption
- old name for tuberculosis.

Salicylate pill
- aspirin.

Tin Pan Alley
- usually referring to the music publishing businesses of New York in general, it was originally a nickname for the section of West 28th Street between Broadway and Fifth Avenue where many of these businesses started.

Chanson d'Amour
- words and music by Wayne Shanklin, 1958. (Also quoted as 1961 by some sources.)

Clavichord
- a string instrument with a keyboard.

Sackbut
- an early trombone.

Bob Turley
- Robert Lee Turley, 'Bullet Bob', a pitcher for the New York Yankee baseball team that won the 1958 World Series.

'His sudden advent, so like descent from heaven of Lucifer, son of the morning ...'
- possibly Isaiah: Chapter 14, Verse 12.

How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! how art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations.

Horizontal blue bar

This story uses part of the plot from Joy Bells for Barmy. That story and this one were combined with a Mr Mulliner setting to make the story also called The Right Approach in A Few Quick Ones. My notes for the latter story include a comparison of the more detailed differences between the three stories.

Note for collectors: In my opinion, the early part of this story is sufficiently different to count it as a separate story, hence the two pages here. If you're a serious collector after a complete set and have money to spare, you might try and find this one. If you're not so dedicated, the version in A Few Quick Ones should suffice. Either way, compare my synopses to check.