Blandings: Our Man in England

I'm open to suggestions on further topics for this page. Please send any ideas to Reggie.

On 22 June 1897, Queen Victoria had reigned for 60 years - it was her Diamond Jubilee. Apart from the main state pageantry, there were celebrations up and down the country (and around what was then the British Empire). Even quite small villages wanted to mark the event. While a town might build a community hall or erect a statue, villages had limited funds (they were not then full of wealthy commuters from the towns); their building work had to be on a smaller scale. The 'Jubilee watering trough' that Wodehouse has placed in a number of villages is just the sort of thing that a small village, reliant on horse power, might build in a prominent position in the village and dedicate to Her Majesty.

PG would have been 15 at the time so might have taken part in some form of celebration. He would surely have seen these new monuments. The phenomenon has been repeated recently with villages creating Millennium gardens or Millennium playgrounds etc.

An English Justice of the Peace is quite different from an American JP - for a start, they cannot conduct marriage services. They are closer to the judges that sit in the lowest or local criminal courts, but are not elected.

They do NOT hand out summary justice in the way that Wodehouse describes. He is harking back to the days when the local landowner would be a JP and might use their position as main employer, as much as JP, to throw their weight around.

In PG's day, a JP was likely to be an important person in the community in their own right and of a certain class. Today just about anybody who is law abiding and can afford the time can become a JP. These amateurs, in the sense that they are unpaid and not professional lawyers, undergo a period of training before they can 'sit on the bench' (historically 'the King's Bench' - now comfortable chairs) with two other JPs in a Magistrates Court. Here they listen to the evidence, determine the verdict and, where appropriate, pass sentence. They also decide whether there is enough evidence in cases that are due to go before a judge and jury in a higher court. The value of magistrates is that they combine the concept of a jury - real world experience and being tried by ones' equals - with the efficiency of smaller numbers.

For the benefit of those not familiar with the British legal profession (just about everyone) here's a brief word on our chums: solicitors and barristers.

Solicitors are the local lawyers. They deal with the basics: house buying, contracts, lower court hearings, divorce etc. If you need legal advice you go to a solicitor. Barristers are the specialists. They speak as advocates in the higher courts and deal with difficult areas of law. The ordinary citizen cannot employ a barrister. Only a solicitor can do that, on your behalf. (Watch those bills rise!)

Their training is different but both now usually start with a law degree. Would-be solicitors are then trained as 'articled clerks' in a solicitor's office, handling the routine stuff. They later qualify and become junior partners and can practise law in their own right. Trainee barristers become unpaid pupils to existing barristers. On qualifying, they are 'called to the bar'.

Senior barristers are raised to a higher status by their peers to become either King's Counsel (K. C.) or Queen's Counsel (Q. C.), depending on the gender of the current monarch. This means that they must be 'assisted' by a junior counsel when they appear in court and, of course, they cost more to employ. The process is known as 'taking silk'.

One curious feature of a barrister's training is the requirement to eat a certain number of dinners in their 'Inn of Court' each year. They are also lucky to get any work to begin with and payment can be months late. You need money to become a barrister. Then you make money. Lots.

Until recently the proposal of marriage and its acceptance constituted a contract under English Law. If one party broke the engagement, they were effectively breaking a contract and so became liable to pay damages. The contract did not have to be in writing. Despite concerns over the opportunities this gave for 'gold-digging', which Wodehouse made good use of in his plots, several attempts to change the law failed.

It was only in 1970 that the breach of promise laws were finally repealed, to be replaced with provisions for the apportionment of property of engaged couples (presumably acquired in preparation for married life).

The problem with the younger son that bothered the aristocracy in Wodehouse's books was about titles and the land that supported them. Most parents could leave their property to anyone they chose. But many titles originated in the days of the feudal system when they carried obligations to provide men and other services to the king and that meant having property, which then meant land. Consequently, the land passed with the title to the next in line, usually the eldest son, and while they might get a small allowance from the estate, many younger sons would have to fend for themselves once old enough. Many became soldiers or joined the clergy. Of course, the younger son had some value as a standby in case an accident befell the heir before he too had produced an heir. Hence the expression 'an heir and a spare' e.g. the Princes William and Harry.

Today, the title holder no longer owes the monarch service but still has to maintain the family home etc. This requires most of the land and income from it, so the eldest son still scoops the lion's share. Technically, the property is entailed. The younger son is still an embarrassment, although their future options are much wider than they used to be. They certainly get a better education, not confined to the classics of Greek and Latin, so stand a reasonable chance of earning a living.

[Although not used much by Wodehouse there are a few oblique references and it's something which is so badly treated by American films and TV that a few words are in order.]

Rhyming slang originated as a street patois, a private language that outsiders could not understand. It worked by using a pair of words or short phrase that rhymed with the word to be expressed, then omitting the rhyming word. There are many theories of precisely how it originated, with street traders, crooks keeping ahead of the police, etc. However it started it's here to stay and continues to evolve with each generation adding its own words, for example 'John Major' (a British Prime Minister) means a pager. It's a living language.

Where many go wrong is to use the entire phrase or pair, which gives the uninitiated a chance to interpret what's being said. For example, 'Getting up all these apples has made me plates hurt' is virtually meaningless as it stands, which is the point. The longer but incorrect 'Getting up all these apples and pears has made me plates of meat hurt' could start to make sense, given some context. With a bit of imagination, it's not too hard to see that 'apples and pears' are stairs and 'plates of meat' are feet. There are some exceptions to this, however, such as 'Would you Adam and Eve it?' meaning 'Do you believe it?', and 'Not a dickie bird,' meaning 'Not a word'.

Others you might encounter are:

Barnet (Fair)	Hair.
Bread (and honey)	Money - probably the commonest, even reaching the US.
Dog (and bone)	Phone.
Loaf (of bread)	Head - usually meaning brains as in 'use your loaf, mate'.
Pork (pies)	Lies - 'telling porkies'.
Rabbit (and pork)	Talk - 'you don't half rabbit on'.
Sausage (and Mash)	Cash - 'not a sausage' means broke or temporarily short of funds.
Scapa (Flow)	Go - usually 'scarper' meaning make a run for it.
Todd (Sloan)	Alone - 'on his tod'.

[Not surprisingly, a number of rhyming slang expressions are, shall we say, vulgar. Omitting the rhyme makes them less detectable in public, so presumably on a par with double entendres, only offensive if you have the mind to be offended. However, as I have not encountered any of these in Wodehouse, I have omitted even the commonest of these expressions. What do you mean 'spoilsport'? This is a site for all ages and sensibilities.]

Pantomime, or panto, is a traditional theatrical entertainment performed around the Christmas holidays and based on one of several equally traditional stories such as Aladdin, Cinderella, Jack and the Beanstalk and Puss in Boots etc. There are also stock characters including the principal boy who is always played by a young woman and the dame played by a man in woman's clothing (drag). Cinderella's ugly sisters are two such dames.

Pantomime is designed for parents and children to enjoy together. It include songs, dance, slapstick humour for the kids, double entendres for the adults and audience participation (communal singing, something to get kids on stage etc). Some involve special effects, characters arriving in a puff of smoke or flying on wires etc., or speciality acts. The plot is largely incidental to the spectacle. They are staged by professional and by local theatre clubs alike with equal enthusiasm. Some performers have built a reputation for certain characters and do panto every year. In recent years, however, many professional versions have had to include a TV soap star to help publicity.