Wodehouse was a keen sportsman, boxing and playing rugby football and cricket at school, and golf later. This page deals with the mysterious terms and habits of the sportsman.
Teams are broadly divided into the 'forwards' and 'backs'. Forwards tend to be heavier and man the scrum, the backs are lighter and play a running game. One or more backs will also specialize in kicking for penalties, drop goals or for position. A key player is the 'scrum half', responsible for retrieving the ball from a scrum and feeding it to the backs for a running game. In recent years, not in Wodehouse's day, the number 2 player has gained importance as the player that throws the ball in from the touchline (sideline) as these re-starts or 'line-outs' have become more important tactically.
There are a vast number of rules, many of which can lead to penalties and points for the other team. The number of points scored for tries, goals, penalties and conversions has changed over the years. (I can remember a try and a goal both scoring three points, with one point for a conversion, like the American football 'point after'.) Scoring is now five points for a try plus two points for a successful conversion. Unfortunately, a penalty still scores three points. Matches are often won or lost on technical penalties rather than skilful running play. Despite this, players rarely argue with the referee. For a more detailed description and a guide to player's positions and the rules, go to the BBC web site at www.bbc.co.uk and follow the links to sport, then rugby.
The batsmen stand in front of the wicket, one at each end. The opposing team bowls balls down the pitch in an attempt to make the ball hit the wicket. Bowling must be with a straight arm at the point of release as throwing or pitching is not allowed. The batsman uses his bat to knock the ball away and to score 'runs', by running between the wickets, crossing with the other batsman. Balls are bowled in sets of six called an over. The fielding team bowl overs from each end alternately, i.e. to the other wicket, evening out any variations in the pitch etc. Whichever batsman is at the receiving end after each ball and runs is the one that bats. The bat is always carried, not dropped as in baseball.
Runs are scored by running between the wicket. Both batsmen run and both must complete the distance between the wickets to score one run. A ball that reaches the edge of the pitch, the boundary, scores four runs if it touches the ground before the boundary, six if it clears the boundary. The batsmen do not run fours or sixes but can run any number of runs until the ball reaches the boundary or they judge it time to stop so as not to be 'out'.
There are several ways to be 'out', of which the most commonly encountered are: 'bowled' - the ball hits the wickets and knocks a bail off; 'caught' - the ball is hit by the bat but caught before hitting the ground; 'run out' - the ball is retrieved, thrown at the wicket and knocks off the bails while the batsman is running (and has not crossed a particular line on the pitch - the 'crease'); 'stumped' - the wicket keeper knocks off the bails with the ball in his hands and the batsman is on the wrong side of the crease; and lbw or 'leg before wicket', a complex and ever changing rule that is designed to prevent a batsman deliberately blocking the path to the wicket with his legs.
The game is played with either one or two 'innings' per team, with a toss of the coin to determine who chooses whether to bat first or second. As so much is dependent on the condition of the pitch and weather, and top class games can take three to five days to complete, winning the toss can determine the outcome between comparable teams.
A good fast bowler can get the ball to move at 70 - 90 mph which does not give the batsman much time to react. As the ball may bounce at an angle from its seam, or on an uneven pitch, the skill required to hit it where you want is considerable. Slow bowlers spin the ball so that it bounces at an angle to deceive the batsman. In certain conditions, the ball will also move in the air adding to the batsman's problems. Certain types of bowling action have special names, the 'googly', 'chinaman' and 'yorker' etc.
Lobs is a form of bowling no longer practiced mainly because it is under arm bowling which while mostly legal is frowned upon. A good lob bowler or 'lobster' had a veritable arsenal of tricks to defeat the unwary batsman, from the 'daisy cutter' skimming along the ground, through balls bouncing left or right to varying degrees and distances down the pitch to balls designed to land on the wicket from above the bowlers head. (These last and some less extreme high balls are now banned.) They were effective because it was difficult to score off the lower balls, like today's spin bowlers, and the high balls could only be hit high so inviting a catch. The best defence was confidence. Some of the top test bowlers, even as late as the 1900s, were lob bowlers.
For a more detailed description and a guide to the rules, go to the BBC web site at www.bbc.co.uk and follow links to sport then cricket.
While on the subject, M.C.C. stands for Marylebone Cricket Club. Founded in 1787, the club owns Lord's cricket ground in London, the premier ground in England and has been there since 1814. It was one of the last bastions of male society in England, only allowing women to become Members in 1998, and has a long waiting list for membership. Although no longer running cricket, it is responsible for the laws of the game. Marylebone is pronounced 'Marry-luh-bone' without gaps (not 'Mary-lee-bone' or 'Mary-ler-bone'). See also www.lords.org for more information.
'Wandering' clubs are nomadic teams, without ties to county, school or other organisation, and are made up of like-minded enthusiasts who play for the fun of it. They include some of the oldest clubs in England such as the Incogniti, who were playing in the 1860s, and I Zingari (the wanderers) founded 1845, both of which feature in Wodehouse stories. The Incogniti are still going; they played PG's alma mater, Dulwich College, in 2005, and lost to the school's first eleven by 104 runs. Other clubs include the Emeriti and Free Foresters.
Gentlemen v Players. Gentlemen were the amateurs in the sense of being unpaid and Players were the paid professionals. At one time the distinction was such that the two groups in one team would have separate dressing rooms. The last M.C.C. Gentlemen v Players match was, I believe, played in 1962. Cricket changes, but very, very slowly.
First run in 1829, the race is between the coxed rowing eights of the two Universities and now takes place on the River Thames, between Putney and Mortlake over 4 miles and 374 yards. The actual time of the race depends on the tide. There are three bends on the course, two favouring the Middlesex station (side of the course) and one favouring the Surrey station. The leading boat can cross over and take the more favourable side if they get clear water of 1/4 length (or a lead of 1 1/4 lengths). In some years, the race becomes a procession with one crew getting a good start, crossing over and keeping the advantage of all the bends, particularly if they start on the Middlesex side.
Apart from the occasional sinking or 'racing incident', the real interest for many is the tradition of the contest. One of these is that the president of the losing team challenges the winners to next year's race, so keeping the whole thing going. Curiously, many people with no connection to either university will pick a side to cheer and remain loyal to that choice for life. The 154th race took place in 2008 with Oxford winning in the slowest time for 60 years due to wind and rain.
For more information, try www.theboatrace.org.
Scoring occurs when the cue ball knocks one or both of the other two balls into a pocket (a pot), bounces off one into a pocket (in-off) or when the cue-ball makes contact with both object balls during a stroke (a cannon). Scoring is higher when the red ball is involved. Fouls occur when, for example, a player knocks a ball off the table, strikes the wrong ball, plays out of turn, scores too many cannons in a row etc.
One part of the table is delineated by a line parallel to and 29 inches from one of the narrow ends. The smaller area bounded is called the baulk. Inside this is a D-shaped area from which the cue ball must be struck after being returned to the table (after scoring or a foul). Missing any other ball with the cue ball is also a foul, unless both the object balls are in the baulk area, when it is not a foul but a 'miss'. A miss incurs a penalty but the player does not lose their turn - this is the 'miss in baulk'.
Billiards has largely given way to snooker and pool. It lacks the 'smash and bash' of pool, the concept of the 'snooker' and needs a full size table. It is also possible for a reasonably skilful amateur to get all three balls into a position to play endless cannons and rack up a huge score. A rule limiting the number of consecutive cannons does little to relieve the tedium of this tactic. Bar billiards is a different game for use in public houses and uses a special table. It requires a delicate touch and so has also given way to pool.
I am indebted to the web site of the Teeside and District Billiards and Snooker League for their full explanation of the rules which I have greatly simplified here.
Golf clubs
Today's golfer plays with woods and irons that are conveniently numbered. In PG's day, they had names. Unfortunately, those names don't correspond exactly to today's clubs. But to give you an idea...
| Driver | Driver or 1 Wood |
| Brassie * or brassey | 2 Wood |
| Spoon | 3 Wood |
| Baffy | 4 Wood |
| Cleek | 1 or 2 Iron (or a 4 wood) |
| Jigger | 4 or 10 Iron |
| Mashie | 5 Iron |
| Mashie-Niblick | 7 Iron |
| Niblick | 9 Iron |
* Generically, a club with a wooden head and a brass sole (base).
| Birdie | One stroke under par for a hole. |
| Bisque | A free stroke to be taken at any time in a round. |
| Bogey | Now meaning one over par, it used to be par so a bogey 4 hole is a par 4 hole. |
| Casual water | A temporary accumulation of water, such as a rain puddle. |
| Chip shot | A short lofted stroke for approaching the green. |
| Dormy | In match play, as many holes ahead as there holes to play. |
| Dub | An inexperienced or unskilful player. |
| Eagle | Two strokes under par for a hole. |
| Foozle | To make a poor stroke. |
| Hole out | Hit the ball into the hole to complete the play. |
| Honour | To play the first shot on a hole, to tee off. |
| Hook | A curving shot, right to left if a right-handed player. |
| Jerk shot | A stroke where the club is swung upright and brought down vertically, hitting the ball and the ground together. It is used when a ball is in high grass and nestling near a rock etc. |
| Jigger | Old golf club used for chipping and short approaches. |
| Like-as-we-lie | Said when players have made an equal number of strokes on a hole at that time (match play). |
| Links | A seaside course. |
| Match play | Scoring by holes won (see medal score). |
| Medal score | Total strokes taken (not holes won), usually against par. |
| Pin | The pole holding the flag that marks the position of a hole. |
| Plus fours | Wide trousers (US: pants) that extend to the top of the calves with a four-inch fold of material (the 'plus four') that overhangs the knees. |
| Plus one, plus two | Handicaps under par, i.e. giving strokes to a scratch golfer so really good. |
| Push shot | when the struck ball starts to the right of the target and continues to fly on that line. |
| Putter | club with a flat, vertical face used on the green. |
| Sand trap | Bunker. |
| Scratch | A handicap of nil (the amateur's holy grail). |
| Shank | To hit the ball with the shaft of the club. |
| Slice | A curving shot, left to right if a right-handed player. |
| Stymie | Where one player's ball lies between another ball and the hole, obstructing its path (from the days when a player could not lift a ball on the green). |
| Top | Strike the ball at its top such that the it tumbles forward (rather than flies off the tee as it would if hit full in the centre). |
The game is played as singles or doubles in a four-sided, enclosed court, slightly smaller than a squash court, and with a stone floor. The front wall has a board of wood running across it at an even height from the floor. The ball is hard and a little larger than a golf ball. Players use leather gloves on both hands and aim to hit the ball above the bar, so that the opposition cannot return it before the second bounce. It is one of those games where only one side can score from the rally, in this case the 'receiving' side. If the serving side wins, they become the receiving side and get the chance to score. The winner is the first to fifteen.
For more information, including the rules, see the Rugby Fives Association web site at www.rfa.org.uk.
© Reggie